Wednesday, April 11, 2012

True Beauty Under Pressure

Who you lookin' at in that tone of voice
Recently we have all been reminded of how the media pushes it's twisted definition of beauty at us women.  A magazine at the checkout counter last week revealed what a few well known celebrities look like without their make up. (shock!)  This type of so-called-news always makes me wonder why we would even waste our time and money on it.  Does it make us feel better about our own less than perfect images?  I don't think so.  What they know we will be tempted to do is mock how normal and plain they look without makeup and further drive their false definition of beauty into our souls.

A few days later came the cruel attack on Ashley Judd's appearance.  Personally I admire Ashley Judd for going natural in her aging process and say more power to her.  When the media started hacking away at the way she looks I started shouting at the reporter on television and waving my my hand at them to go away!  (yes I really did) "LIKE WE CARE!  GET REAL!  LEAVE HER ALONE!".  I am so against this kind of derogatory news it makes me want to pinch heads off!  It serves no good purpose in anyone's life...not even to make one feel better about one's own sad life.

Why does the media and now social media continue to do this?  Because they know it affects us, they know it feeds some low desire in us.  Do you get the picture?  The good news is that we women also have leverage to fight back!

I bet you smiled back!
Being a rather realistic person, I know my face is not the kind to ever launch a thousand ships, but it might launch a dingy.  And though it is not a pretty face, it is a handsomely beautiful face and I have thankfully learned to love it without needing makeup on to do so.

I have my Facebook friend and blogger Pamela Price, who writes Red, White and Grew, to thank for inspiring me with her post supporting Ashley Judd.  In it she decided to post an image of herself as she "really" looks, bare faced and hair hidden.  I loved it and I decided to join in and do the same.  Us girls have to stick together, especially on this topic.

Here is the quote from Ms. Judd that Pam posted on the subject and what got us both going.

"The Conversation about women’s bodies exists largely outside of us, while it is also directed at (and marketed to) us, and used to define and control us. The Conversation about women happens everywhere, publicly and privately. We are described and detailed, our faces and bodies analyzed and picked apart, our worth ascertained and ascribed based on the reduction of person hood to simple physical objectification. Our voices, our person hood, our potential, and our accomplishments are regularly minimized and muted."  (Read her entire article here)

That did it for me and I was in to post my own photos.  However, after thinking about taking my own naked faced, hairless photos I started to choke a little.  To come clean, I have some issues about how I look now that I am not, er, young anymore that I don't openly share and they were bugging me.  I had to face them.  I knew it would be cathartic for me to do as humility is good for the soul after all.  Some of you may find this funny because these days I rarely if ever wear makeup.  That doesn't mean I don't think about how I look.

A smile is my favorite thing to put on my face.
Yes I really do miss that smooth youthful skin when I see those lovely images of youthful beauty, even if have earned this beautiful patina of life people can see on my face.  And I winced a little when I remembered how I look in those photos goofy photos I enjoy taking of myself for my blog.  Somewhere in the past year I have become more obsessed with how I am aging than I have wanted to admit.  Why I even have started wishing I had some extra cash lying around to get one of those fancy modern day beauty lifts they are advertising everywhere.  That is how all of this has begun to affect me and I don't like how it makes me feel about myself.

In Pam's blog post she asked the question "Do you think that social media is adding to the pressure that women feel to look a certain way?  As I thought about this I realized that to some degree it does push this unrealistic ideal of what beauty should be. However, I also think social media is cutting both ways on this issue.  There are gals like us who are realistic about our beauty expectations and take the process in stride, even if we don't always enjoy the results and encourage our sisters to love who they are as well and then there are the others...the beauty liars who are trying to push those unrealistic expectations on all of us no matter what our age.  Sad but true and this is why we have to stick together girls!


Getting older and getting wrinkled has never really been something I worried about and I have even looked forward to since I saw an elderly couple in matching red tennis shoes walking hand in hand down a sidewalk together.  They had to me in their 90s but were still living a life together.  I wanted to live to be able to do that with the man I loved someday too.  But I am digressing here.

The necked truth
The only exception to my not feeling dread about getting older was my 29th birthday when I just wanted to crawl in a hole.  As you can see I survived that event and then I went on to discover that life really begins at 30.  Or is it 50 now?  I'm not sure how I will feel at 59; I'm 56 now.  But I have never tried to hide how old I am and find it silly to even consider trying to...after all, the neck doesn't lie.

So if you blog or if you are on Facebook I challenge you to post your own naked faced, hair covered image in support of this cause.  Remember, we are in this together girls!


Copyright © 2012 by Patty Hicks
All rights reserved. No part of this blog may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including printing, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. All reviews must include author's name and a link back to this blog.

20 comments:

  1. What a great post... I'm going to go update my post to link to you!

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    1. Thanks Pamela. You were such an inspiration and I think this is a great thing for us to do. I hope many more will link arms/blogs with us.

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    2. I hope so, too. As of 7PM EST tonight, there are four of us ordinary gals sticking our names and necks out there! Here's to at least a half dozen more...

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  2. What a great and thoughtful post. I am the same age as you, and the last time I wore makeup was about 5 years ago, for my 25th wedding anniversary celebration. I do color my hair, but I have been thinking occasionally lately about maybe not doing that any more. If I can sort out what I want to say about this whole thing, I will join you and Pamela.

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    1. Great Alison! Can't wait to read your post. Let me know when you get it up and I'll link you to my post.

      By the way...I used to color my hair but the root thing got to be a real drag. Now that the greys are coming in I am starting to think about doing it again. This feels like being pulled by both arms in different directions sometimes.

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    2. Patty, here's my post!

      http://bonneylassie.blogspot.com/2012/04/what-56-and-overweight-really-looks.html

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    3. Thanks for joining up Alison! Your post was wonderful. It is so interesting hearing everyone's voice sharing from their perspective.

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  3. Patty - I'm working up the courage. Hate to admit I'm a little more vain than I should be. You two ladies are an inspiration. Funny thing, I don't wear makeup very often either. And when I do, it isn't much. Why it should matter, I don't know.

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    1. Julie, I'm hear to tell you that vanity is such a joy stealer! Its far more fun to just be out there than to worry about what I look like when I'm doing something I find important or fun. Come on YOU CAN DO IT! =-D

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    2. "Vanity is a joy stealer." We need t-shirts, now!!!!

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    3. Oh now that is a great idea! T-shirts! (lol) Love it!

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  4. This is a great idea! How brave you are to embrace the insecurity and remind us all what shallow expectations we can have. Thanks for being an inspiration to others!

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    1. Thank you for the kind words Kara. There is a certain excitement and joy that comes with embracing insecurity. Vanity is such a bondage. It's way more fun to be able to laugh at one's self.

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  5. I love this post and you are beautiful, exactly as is! Thank you so much for sharing this important message! I created a video along these same lines about 9 months ago (I am 45), and here it is. http://vimeo.com/26105736

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    1. Wow! Allison that was incredible! And you truly are beautiful. I love when you asked the question "Is he wrong?" So true that this not only points at us but at those who love us just the way we are too.

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  6. Very sweet, Patty, and so true. I think we all could benefit from a bit of humility and comfort in our own aging appearance. Nothing like grandchildren to bring out that beauty, when one of them touches your face and says, "You're so soft, Nana!"

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