Monday, March 19, 2012

Really Drunk Gummy Bears; A Pinterest Fail

If a little is good then more is better right?  We all know someone who thinks this way and I am married to one of those someones.  It rarely if ever ends well and thankfully I have learned to laugh about it unless real damage is done. 

A few weeks ago I was in the middle of making my husband drunken Gummi Bears from a recipe I found on Pinterest when he decided to get involved in the process. The results have had me chuckling all afternoon.

These are really simple to make...if you follow the recipe; a bag of "Haribo Gummi Bears", some good vodka, a pan.  Put the bears in the pan, pour just enough vodka over them to cover them.  Stick them in the fridge for three to five days and that's it. 

The bears had only been soaking in the pan for 3 hours when Ben got home from work and got nosy. "What is this?"  He looks at the pan and picks out one of the vodka soaked bears that has already swollen to about twice its size.  My wifey alarm goes off at that smile.  "These are pretty good." He is smiling bigger now and munches down three more.  He hands me one to taste.  They taste like bad cough syrup to me. "Glad you like them, they are all yours." I tell him.

My telling him that was not such a good idea as it only fueled him and the next thing I know is he is springing into action, grabs a jar off the drainboard and the vodka bottle.  "What are you doing?", I try to get him to confess to his plan.  Instead he smiles at me and winks.  I've been married to this man for over twenty years and yes I know he's going to pour more vodka over them but the question has become ritual in our relationship.  I quickly mention that the extra vodka will just melt them knowing full well it is pretty much impossible to reason with him at this point.  I decide to leave the kitchen so I won't get frustrated by his intrusion on my project.

What I know is going to happen.

He seems sure that if a little booze is good, more booze will be better and transfers the bears to the jar and pours enough vodka over them they are not just floating but drowning in it.  He lifts the jar with the drowning Gummi Bears with a proud smile and another wink, then places it in a prominent place where he can keep an eye on it's progress and proceeds to pretty much forget about them.

It's about a month later and I had the urge to purge today.  So I decided to see how his drunken bear "science project" was doing.  I picked it up and looked at it.  Not a single green, red, yellow or whitish bear to be seen anywhere...only an orange gelatinous goo.  (Oh yummy)

What happens when a man doesn't listen to his wife.

The lid was stuck shut so I ran hot water to loosen it.  That was a mistake.  When it finally did come off the alcohol wafted right up my nose making my eyes watered it was so strong.  By the way, if you need a good way to clear your sinuses you might want to use this works great!  I pokes around in the jar with a spoon, poured some out on a plate and here wasn't a single survivor in this science project.

So Ben gets home after work today and I tell him to take a look at his little science project, pointing to the jar of drown bear goo.  He picks up the jar, opens it, smells it and says "What's wrong with these?" which means there is nothing wrong with them in his mind.  Then he grabs a mug, dumps half of the orange goo into it along with a good splash cherry juice, smells it and urges me to give it a sniff.  I hate when he does this but I know better than say no or he'll be asking me over.  It still smells like bad cough syrup.  Then he grabs a beer and pours some into the juice/goo mixture, picks up the mug swirling it a bit to blend it and drinks it down and likes it! Yes...I live with a funny and sometimes strange man and the results have had me laughing all afternoon.

Copyright © 2012 by Patty Hicks
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  1. OH Gag!! Remind me never to let that man mix me a drink!! lol Oh and saying a prayer for all the little gummi's that gave all in the name of BEST LAID PLANS.

    1. That is why I do the drink mixing for myself and others around here tugsomomma. Honestly...I don't know how he can stand the stuff he makes. He is truly one in a million.

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