Ignorance and anxiety.

                                                        Moss invading Lavender

I am sitting in my living room thinking about all the things on my list that need to be accomplished before the week's end.  Running in the background of this list is another list...all the things I need to get done before the Spring growing season really takes off.  I go through this every year.  It never changes.  The only difference now is I don't need a list of what needs doing in the garden.  I've rehearsed it in application so many times its automatic.  Oh to be ignorant again.  To sow seeds for the first time and watch in amazement as they come up and not be filled with the "what I must do next" thoughts.  It seems that acquired knowledge has created anxiety.  Hmmm...

I say this with a certain guardedness because I know that no matter what I do, if God does not bless this work it will fail.  I've had a lot of failed attempts at things in the recent past.  I really wonder why at times.  Am I doing something I'm not supposed to or is there something I'm being taught by God that I will be able to share with others later.  Or did God somewhere back there tell me to stop trying and am I just being stubborn and continuing to do what I should not be doing and that is why the failure. Whatever it is I do know that nothing is lost in God's economy of things and I can at least share with others what I learn and pray I am paying attention to what God is trying to teach me.  So why be anxious if God is the one who blesses what we do.

So again...I am hearing the litany of my garden to-do list running in the back ground.  My body gets tense with the thought of it all.  Be anxious for nothing..I remind myself.  Once again I desire ignorance.  It is bliss, at least for a season.  But better still is to be able to shut off the anxiety and breath knowing that everything has its season and if something doesn't get done the earth won't fall off its axis.

"Patience pays the gardener." I've told so many people this.  Time to take my own advise.  So I take hold of my thoughts and surrender this list bound up in the chords of anxiousness and give them to God.  This will help me to take care of what "really" needs taking care of today...bring rest to my soul, my mind and my heart.  For today has enough cares of its own and God knows what the future holds.  So I'll put my trust in Him for the rest.

Copyright © 2010 by Patty Hicks

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