Friday, December 14, 2012

There Is No Making Sense of Violence

This was a difficult day.
My mind trying to make sense of violence
Violence that makes no sense
My heart bruised from Tuesday's shooting in my town,
Shoppers in Clackamas Town Center, friends, family, neighbors gunned down in cold blood...
Our community made no sense
Violence never does

Today's violence eclipses even the fresh emotions of Tuesday's tragedy here.
So many dead, so many children dead,
So many mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers suddenly, violently robbed of hugging their loved one again. 
This was a most difficult day.

Those shot are all strangers to me
Yet it is as if they are all my family
As my heart wraps itself up in mourning for the loss of ones loved
As I see the shattered heart on the face of the mother screaming in pain into her cell phone...
The children..a sister with a comforting hand on the shoulder of her frightened younger brother

I sit alone in my living room and cannot stop thinking of their pain
And wanting it to make sense, praying God will make it make sense
So it won't hurt so bad!
The loss, the horror, the torn lives
This is a most difficult day...
Because there is no making sense of violence.

This morning after my husband left for work and I had eaten my breakfast I opened up my laptop to Facebook and was greeted with horrific news. It was 7am Pacific Standard Time. It is now 4pm and I found it nearly impossible to leave this place of deep sorrow for the sudden and violent loss of loved ones those Newton Connecticut are feeling today.  I am sure others of you may be feeling much the same as I am, but my grief has been magnified by the violent taking of lives earlier this week in my town of Portland Oregon at the Clackamas Town Center shooting.  It made this a most difficult day. 

I am a person who is strongly empathetic and these events have left me unable to set it aside so much of the day has been filled with prayer for it is all I know to do when my heart is so burdened and I understand so little.  I know God saw everything and for reasons known only to Himself He allowed this horrific violence to occur.  I do not understand...God knows this.  Many will ask how a loving God could allow such a thing to happen.  I do not have the answer.

Bad things, really bad things happen to good people and have from the beginning of time.  I can only pray that some good, actually I am praying for some great good to be born out of the horrific events of this week in our nation.  I pray that bitterness won't win in the hearts of those who have lost loved ones.  I pray that we will not turn to anger ourselves to try and solve what we believe to be the problem in our society that brought these things about.  We don't understand, maybe we will never understand why either of these young men took to deadly force to satisfy the completely selfish evil desire that was inside of them.  I pray we might rise above arguments that pit one against another until we all want to vomit from hearing so much of it from our friends, neighbors and strangers.  I pray that somehow God will bring wisdom to our leaders that will provide better safety for all of us...but most of all I pray for God to change hearts. 

Today was a most difficult day, I pray that tomorrow will bring hope and healing and comfort to those who need it most.

For the people of Newton Connecticut and surrounding communities and the people here in my city affected by unthinkable tragedy, you are in my thoughts and prayers.  May God have mercy.

Copyright © 2012 by Patty Hicks

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  1. Like you, I've tried to make sense of it and it just can't be done. I pray the parents, family and community can band together and help each other though this. But there are times we can't console the unconsolable. May God bless them all during this season and all their days. Beautiful article, Sandy.

    1. Thank you Debi. Our feeling of helplessness knowing the depth of what they must be feeling and our unease in watching it and being able to do nothing...all we can do is hope and pray for God to bless them. I did hear today that many if not all of the families are working hard to mark Christmas day knowing it will be difficult. I can only pray that God will bless them all as they do with some small hope that will carry them through this awful season.

  2. As a father of two young boys my thought garnered back to when they were kindergarteners and seeing school pageants full of their friends. When I saw the President trying to regain his composure and wipe a tear, I began to weep and had another session after the CBS news was over. I won't be watching the news for days because I know my weeping will continue. Sad, sad days for those families and our Republic.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience here. It was moving to witness the President of our country vulnerable and human in those moments. It was a good reminder that he is a father, a good father who loves his children as we all do. You are not alone in not wanting to watch the news. So many of us feel the same way, especially those of us who have children of our own. The sadness is too's just too difficult to watch. Sad, sad days indeed.